[As the dragon on the tent wall turns toward Tom and opens its mouth, Tom gets ready to turn off the halogen with his foot.]
Ah ha, Mr. Monster! Bye-Bye baby!
[Click. Black.] 249
discuss. Well, I've changed my mind. The Pekinese belongs here. With Tom's Hand shadows.
It happened last December, a month before I'd ever heard of Zampano, on the tail end of what had proved to be a rather dramatic November, All Souls Day commencing with Lude's acquisition of a great deal of Ecstasy, a portion of which he sold to me at bulk rate.
"Hoss, this is our pass to paradise," Lude had told me, and of course he was right.
Who cared if it was fall, it felt like spring. Lude led the way, zipping from club to bar, crashing Bel Air fetes, desert raves and any after hours open house Malibu mansion madness we could find out about. Remarkably, no matter how zealously guarded these events were—velvet ropes as impossible to transcend as concertina wire without a hand grenade—the pills were our hand grenades. Velvet blown aside with the release of just one tab. They got us in everywhere. Even if noses were already bloody with coke, lungs black with Cannabis or throats dry with bourbon. X was still something else entirely, a spine shivering departure from the regular banquet, offering plenty of love-simulated bliss-bloated diversions. And so it happened that that month—Novem nine and all mine November—Lude disappeared into his own bower of bentdom, while I wandered off and promptly found my own.
Not too long afterwards, Lude made a great show of sharing with me his official and most prodigious tally for that month. Something which, for some reason, I felt compelled to write down.
LUDE'S LIST
11/1 — Monique. 36. On her washing machine. She came during the rinse cycle. He came during the spin cycle. Drier broken.
11/3 — Morning: Tonya. 23. Hispanic. Twice.
Evening: Nina. 34. Leather choker. Thigh high boots. 11/4 — Sparkle. 32. In a gazebo above the party. 11/5 — Kelly. 29. Dancer. In some host's sauna. 11/6 — Gina. 22. Said "please" before making the weirdest requests.
11/8 — Jennifer. 20. Naked at midnight on the diving platform at USC.
11/9 — Caroline. 21. Swedish. On her Nordic track.
Later, some guy dating Monique (11/1) caught up with Lude. Turned out he only wanted some E. 11/10 — Susan. 19. Surprised him with a golden shower. He
surprised her with a raincoat. 11/11 — Evening: Brooke. 25.
Midnight: Marin. 22. Poured champagne all over the bed and told him to sleep in the wet spot. 11/12 — Noon: Alison 24-28????
Evening: ????? 23. Did it in wet suits. Neoprene smeared with Astroglide. She kept calling him O'Neil. 11/13 — Holly. 24-34???? Vietnamese.
11/14 — Dawn. 19. Leslie. 19. Melissa. 19. From San Diego.
They went to The Pleasure Chest together and bought a vibrating dildo for the first time.